What I’m going to do is: Go through all the characters in Tekken 3 (why Tekken 3? Because Tekken 3 is the best Tekken, you idiot) and explain what each choice says about you. Doesn’t it sound funny? Repeat it) I will keep the rest of this intro short so the word doesn’t lose all meaning. Please.Ĭonscious of the fact that I have used the word ‘Tekken’ an innumerable amount of times already, so much that the word is quickly beginning to lose all meaning (say it in your head. That’s the thing in my chest that keeps me alive. Instead, you’ll pull out a framed picture of Jack-2 and Yoshimitsu celebrating moments after one of the many millions of trouncings I used to dish out on Tekken Bowl (the mini-game in Tekken Tag Tournament). I just have fond memories of Tekken. If you were to disinfect a scalpel, make an incision just beneath my ribcage and thrust a blue latex-gloved hand up inside me to rummage around and find an actual, physical beating lump of muscle then you’ll be disappointed. In fact, my heart has actually been completely erased by Tekken. I have to be completely honest here: several Tekken games hold a special place in my heart. I was, unfortunately, a shithouse (on occasion). If you picked Eddy Gordo you were a shithouse.